Tag: employment

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Is Your Office Gay-Friendly?

If you're gay and you're closeted at your office, you're not alone. Despite major strides in acceptance over the last 15 years, many still struggle with the decision to come out at work. A recent Harris poll conducted with Out & Equal and Witeck-Combs Communications indicated that 44% of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) participants feel unable to talk freely to co-workers about their partners, and up to 78% don't feel comfortable bringing their partners to corporate social functions. Thirty-one-year-old Vince Bozman of Chicago has been out to his close friends since college, but remained closeted while rising through the ranks at Starbucks' corporate headquarters. "I didn't know if telling people I was gay would limit my ability to move up in the company," he says. "I was intimidated and at the same time jealous of people who could just be themselves. I'd make up stories about being with women, and if a co-worker drove me home, I'd have him drop me off down the street so he wouldn't know I lived in a gay neighborhood."

'No One Cared'

Eventually, after returning to his roots as a Starbucks store manager and working for a boss who was also gay, Mr. Bozman decided to stop lying. "When people asked me about my personal life or where I was on the weekend, I just told the truth. It turned out that no one cared, and I was happier and much more comfortable." Many experts agree that Mr. Bozman and other LGBT individuals are correct to have reservations about making their sexual orientation public. "There's no federal law that safeguards people from being fired because they are gay, and only 16 states have such protections," says Brian Mustanski, assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Illinois at Chicago. "While the constant stress of monitoring themselves can take its toll, LGBT people have to balance the freedom to be themselves with their employability."

[polldaddy poll=1800914]

Is Your Office Gay-Friendly?

In deciding whether to come out at work, what are the most important considerations? First, make sure it's a safe thing for you to do. "Assess anti-gay sentiment at your workplace beforehand," says Dr. Mustanski. "You don't want to be the victim of violence." The Human Rights Campaign Web site is an excellent resource to evaluate whether your organization is LGBT-friendly. Your next step is to choose who you want to tell and the most suitable way to bring up the subject with those people. "Social practices vary by office, so use heterosexual relationships as a benchmark," suggests Dr. Mustanski. "How do non-LGBT people discuss their personal matters? Can you just work it into the conversation? You do want to practice how to respond to inappropriate questions, and be prepared that some co-workers may be hurt that you didn't confide in them sooner." Finally, make sure you're ready. "Don't allow yourself to feel pressured, because once you do it, there's no going back. It has to be the right time for you, and it has to be something that's going to make your day easier," says Mr. Bozman.

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Kurt Wild fired from Subway

Granted, other than the obvious joke above, there's nothing funny about this: It seems that 22-year-old porn actor Kurt Wild has been fired from a Subway restaurant outside of St. Louis after a customer recognized him from his other line of work and raised hell with the management. According to this site, Wild sent them an email with the following:

"I just wanted to tell everyone that I was just fired from my work at subway because I have done gay porn. A customer said they wouldn't even eat there at subway anymore because of my past work and said that if I wasn't fired then they would boycott the store. What I say is, if one person can try to ruin me everywhere I work... maybe I should take a stand and boycott their store too if they can't let people's privacy be treated right. I should have the right to work anywhere I can and it isn't right or fair that people can keep me from working simply because of a "gay" issue. If a girl did what we do it would probably be ok.. and if a guy does straight porn.. he is bragged about. When I do gay porn, I feel a bit lynched for the rest of my life. Not right. Thanks for reading. - Kurt Wild"

Now, there are a number of questions I have about this. First, how on Earth did this customer, who apparently isn't a fan of gay porn given his or her response, know that Wild was in gay porn in the first place? Second, how does having a documented history of being sexually active make you unfit to serve sandwiches? I guess they should fire all of the employees that have children as well? And third, what - do they have no Quizno's in that town? Subway is sooooooo 2004...

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